i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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