i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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