I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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