just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
