so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
