i need an iv and a liver transplant
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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