The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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