Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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