3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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