I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
