I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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