we made out on top of his cat.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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