I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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