i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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