just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
