Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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