Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
