I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize