You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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