we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
