so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
