I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize