Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
