but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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