it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
