look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
