apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
birth control should be required to get into college
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
