she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize