he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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