Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
