I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
