omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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