The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
