You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
