Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
