will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
