haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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