I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
