So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
