He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
