this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
