fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
