You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
