Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
