dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
4 words: hood of his car
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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