im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
