love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
