Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize