do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
