Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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