Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
