I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
