I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
