I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
