smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I look better un-naked...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
