I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
