Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
