She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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