it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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