I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
